Jokes for ... evaluators...
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Actual quotes, not from our inspectors (let's hope!), but from Federal employee performance evaluations :
1. "Works well only when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap. "
2. "His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity. "
3. "I would not allow this employee to breed. "
4. "This employee is really not so much of a has- been, but more of a definite won't be. "
5. "Since my last report, he has reached rock bottom and has started to dig. "
6. "When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there. "
7. "He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle. "
8. "This young lady has delusions of adequacy. "
9. "She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them. "
10. "This employee should go far - and the sooner he starts, the better. "
11. "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot. "
12. "Not the sharpest knife in the drawer. "
13. "Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching. "
14. "A room temperature IQ. "
15. "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together. "
16. "A gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus. "
17. "A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on. "
18. "A prime candidate for natural deselection. "
19. "Bright as Alaska in December. "
20. "One-celled organisms outscore him in IQ tests. "
21. "Donated his brain to science before he was done using it. "
22. "Fell out of the family tree. "
23. "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming. "
24. "Has two brains ; one is lost and the other is out looking for it. "
25. "He's so dense, light bends around him. "
26. "If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate. "
27. "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week"
28. "If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change. "
29. "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean. "
30. "It's hard to believe that he beat out 1, 000, 000 other sperm. "
31. "One neuron short of a synapse. "
32. "Some drink from the fountain of knowledge ; he only gargled. "
33. "Takes him 2 hours to watch 60 minutes. "
34. "Was left on the Tilt-A-Whirl a bit too long as a baby. "
35. "Wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead. "